I’ve been meaning to blog about this piece for weeks now, not sure why I haven’t. I sort of get obsessed with pieces when I start working and nothing can shake me off them, until I get into one of my ruts, and stop so completely that I can’t seem to be able to even look at them. It isn’t a love-hate sort of relationship, but it sure can be difficult some times when I’m dealing with something.
For once in a very long time I was seriously terrified to start this piece. I couldn’t figure out how to start, and what to start. I wrote a previous blog about it titled “Painting Again” and it really did do me in. The large piece intimidated me beyond words. What if it came out awful? What if I had to paint over it? What if I disappointed myself, or even worse, others? Silly right? I write so much about just jumping in and painting, that for once, I was terrified to do so. I am so used to working on my design work, that simply, purely painting has been left to the side.
I forgot how freeing it was. I’m the type of person who seems to crave this feeling of being free, that I seemed to have locked myself into some sort of cage of safety. The idea of just going wild with colors, brush strokes, and seeing what comes out of it not only frightened me, but exhausted me. I didn’t even realize how much I missed that way of creating until I worked on this piece. I literally felt high for days afterwards. It not only was freeing, but it was emotional for me. To simply let loose and not worry about the outcome, but to simple enjoy the process.
I named the piece “In the Deep” because I felt I truly reached within me to a place I had forgotten existed. This piece not only describes myself but my soul. It describes everything I love about art, and everything I hold dear. A 100″X70″ acrylic painting that reminds me it is okay to simply be even if everyone else doesn’t understand it. I am hoping to create more pieces like this and to simply be happy.